are you F*'ing kidding me?!?

The day started like this:

http://tritostart.blogspot.com/2010/02/training-fail.html

This is the rest of the story.

So far.

And I am not sure I can take much more.

I got momentarily distracted on KatieHolmes.com (SQUIRREL!), only to be called back into reality with the echos of a little boy, screaming at the top of his lungs:

"POOP, WOGAN! POOP NOW! POOP ON MY GARDEN!"

I didn't want to look. I really didn't. I decided he must be playing pretend again, since we just got done discussing how fertilizer is poop, and how it is used to help grow veggies.

"WOGAN! YOU POOP NOW! MOMMMMMMMMYYY! WOGAN WON'T POOP ON MY GARDEN!"

Reluctantly, I get up, guarding my imagination from what it was about to see...

The living room was COVERED in sprouts. I had TWO boxes in the fridge (they are amazing on hummus sandwiches). Apparently, the boys had gotten into them. Daegan had spread them evenly over the carpet, and was standing over them triumphantly peeing.

"Mommy! Yeah!! See, I water my garden!"

"Your garden?"

"Yeah, Mommy, I grow sprouts! Wogan won't poop, though."

My eyes adjust to notice that Logan is diaperless.

"What happened to his diaper?"

"I take it off. Wogan need to poop on sprouts."

How freaking long was I on the computer? Quick check. Three minutes. Tops.

Logan giggles and grins, revealing a mouth stuffed with semi-masticated greens.

"Oops. I missed. I pee on couch."

*sigh*

Anyone know how to clean up sprouts out of carpet? They don't seem to want to sweep, and I am not sure they are vacuum-legal.

Joe had better bring home some wine today. Seriously.